Do you give too much unsolicited advice?
Hey, have you ever been told that you don’t listen to people?
What I want to point out to men who give out advice, is that you need to be sure that whoever you are listening to is at the “I want your help” stage of the problem-process. To give advice too soon is to tell whoever you’re slathering the advice on that the process they are in needs to pick up speed, and get to the orgasm of problems—the “I HAVE THE SOLUTION!” phase. Just let it go, the orgasm isn’t everything. The solution isn’t everything. And who says this person wants you to be part of that phase anyway. Maybe they can just do it for themselves.
So, this means you just have to be patient. Listen a little more, and if you are feeling antsy about getting to fixing everything, just ask, “Hey, it sounds like you are saying ___. Would you like to brainstorm to try to figure out how to fix that, or I can keep listening, too, if you want.”
This really helps. Just validate them. Everyone wants validation, even advice-givers.
NOTE: If you are a guy, chances are, you made whoever decided to tell you this very uncomfortable for a long, long time.
